I'm not for sale. But my mad programming and design skills are.

I'm not for sale. But my mad programming and design skills are.

tl;dr I want to travel to wherever you are, set you up to make lots of money, and then leave. This is the best case scenario for both of us.

Pop quiz!

You own a business. You want to have the best website/app imaginable. What do you do?

a) Have someone from your team tackle it. If they're already fit for the job (more below)... perfect. Definitely do this. But if not then you'll either get an over-par (because isn't sub-par a good thing?) result or you'll pay them a ton of money to learn on the job. Or both.

b) Hire an employee. Ignoring the pain of the hiring process, that's a terrible idea unless you have lots of ongoing work for said employee. At my last "real" job I was epicly productive for the first year. And then, nothing. There wasn't anything meaningful left to do. So I sat there for two years - making six figures per year - staring at a screen. My former employer is pretty lucky that I hated being useless and decided to leave.

c) Hire a remote freelancer. I'm not knocking the remote movement at all. It's awesome, in part because it's far better to have the right person working far away than the wrong person working locally. But. BUT. Communication is the backbone of every kind of relationship (I learned this the hard way), and in-person communication will always trump online communication.

d) Hire me to come work for you on location for the next 1-6 months.

There's not an inherently right or wrong answer (jk, that's just the professional thing to say). But if you picked d), hooray! I appreciate the new pair of skis that you're going to afford me.

But before I get ahead of myself...

Why me? Why not some other talented person? Good questions.

  1. I'm super good at stuff (more below).
  2. I'll come to you. I live in Boulder, CO, but will travel almost anywhere in the world. Texas. North Dakota. Connecticut. Germany. Brazil. China. Wherever.
  3. I like to take calculated risks, which - sadly - seems to be extremely rare for developers. You have a cool idea and want to pay me a little less cash and a little more stock? Ummm... yes, please. Why would I want to work for you if I didn't believe in your project? And if I believe in your project why wouldn't I want to be invested in it?
  4. I'm great for morale. I smile all the time and I'm very difficult to be negative around.

I'm super good at:

  • PHP, CSS, JavaScript, and Swift (iOS and Mac OS).
  • UI Design and UX Design.
  • Thinking. Coming up with solutions that make sense instead of just being a robot that follows orders.
  • Working absurdly hard for 1-6 months at a time.
  • Being honest. Possibly to a fault sometimes, but always with a smile on my face and the best of intentions ;)
  • Learning. New languages. New concepts. #whatevs

I'm not so good at:

  • Graphic design. Beautiful layouts and beautiful graphics take different skillsets to make. I don't have the latter skillset.
  • Caring about the same idea for more than 6 months. There are exceptions to this, but not many.

You might hire me if:

  • You need a new web app that goes beyond a 30-minute WordPress install.
  • You need to redesign your website or add functionality to it.
  • You need to make or update an iOS or Android app. To be fair I've never done an Android app, but I'm good at learning stuff.
  • You don't know exactly what you need and you don't have the time or inclination to figure it out.

You probably shouldn't hire me if:

  • You just want a simple web presence for your company. Seriously, just pay some kid $500 to do it for you. Everybody wins.
  • You have a budget of less than $10,000.

Wanna talk? Message me.

Okay bye.