Tomorrow is going to be an epic day. I’m just not yet sure in which direction it’s going to be epic.
First, tomorrow I’ll be (pre)launching the site that I think has the most commercial appeal of anything I’ve ever launched. Note that this is NOT my baby. Showuply is my baby, because it’s showing up every day that has gotten me to this point. It’s showing up every day that has let me produce FAR more (and better) in the past ONE month than in any SIX month period in my life.
Second, I’ll be doing something in my personal life that’s been a long time coming. Which is sort of scary. But sort of not.
If both of those things go how I’m optimistic they will? Oh boy!
If not? It’ll be a tough day. BUT. One of the big ways I’ve grown recently is that tomorrow doesn’t hold lasting power over me. I’ve proven to myself how awesome I am, and I’ve disassociated what happens to me with my self-worth. Not to say it wouldn’t hurt. But it wouldn’t ruin me.
Paradise, Mount Rainier National Park
I’m back to being the high-energy, happy Patrick that you all know and love.
Well, not all of you know me. And presumably at least some of you don’t love me. Dicks. But that’s okay! Cuz my annoying peppiness has returned, thusly making me not give an f-bomb.
Okay, enough blabbering. Back to work!
What do you call someone who’s simultaneously the raddest fucking dude on the planet AND a complete mess?
Most of the time I have SUCH an amazing life and radiate SUCH positive energy.
Life: in the past month I’ve been to 9 National Parks, and that’s been the most boring month of my year.
Energy: you can’t be around me and not be smiling. Try it. It can’t happen.
But SOMETIMES it all comes apart, like when I cried in my car for 15 minutes yesterday, seemingly out of nowhere, wondering the whole time if my life is worth living.
I’ve finally started to embrace my depression. Or acknowledge it. Or something. And that has helped beyond words.
If you’ve never been depressed this probably makes no sense. “Your life is great, dude. Snap out of it.” But if you have… then you know the exactness of the lows I’m talking about.
After doing lots of reflecting upon those lows - and gobbling up lots of resources (books, podcasts, etc) - something magical struck me: the lows make me stronger.
That’s not some inspirational bullshit. That’s truth.
It’s MY truth, anyway. It may not be universal.
But FOR ME, hitting that low point, feeling utterly worthless, contemplating whether my existence should be… that’s exactly the shit that makes me do all of the awesome things that define who I am.
I can’t be incredible AND be comfortable. I can’t have it both ways.
If I decide to choose the adventurous way, the unconventional way, the fun way… there WILL be pain. There has to be.
You don’t end a perfectly decent marriage without pain. You don’t quit a high-paying, low-stress job without pain. Or maybe you do. But I don’t.
But I also don’t stay incredible by staying in a happyISH marriage and a happyISH job.
I want more. Sometimes that hurts, and I’m good with that.
I’m on a motherf*&$ing roll. Launching stuff on a regular basis, flowing, and following my heart. That heart has led me back to Portland. I’ve only spent a total of 5 weeks of my life in this city, but there’s not anywhere in the entire world that feels more like home.
Launched another thing yesterday! ChatThingy.com (still in dev, but if you sign up now I’ll give it to you for free for life)
I’m still 12 years old inside. And I’m okay with that. Why do we have to be so serious all the time? #penisplate
Redwoods National Park
I generally don’t like clarifying that I didn’t use a filter. But would you believe that there’s no filter on this? Holy nuts this campsite was amazing. As was being in the presence of these massive trees right next to this even more massive ocean.
Today I saw redwoods, a black bear, pelicans, seals, and elk. Quite the day of nature.
Lassen Volcanic National Park
Type 2 fun at its best.
Decided to hike up Lassen Peak today. This is a mild trail compared to all the goodness of Colorado, but there was a twist!
My sandals broke about 400 feet in. But I was already 400 feet in. I was committed damn it!
I made it all the way up and all the way back down, across painful rocks and long patches of snow. Barefoot. All this despite being told by several passersby that the top was too rocky and I wouldn’t be able to do it.
Voices carry farther than people think on a quiet mountain. Some people made fun of me after they thought I was out of earshot. Others said how badass I was.
Some people gave me the stink eye when I passed. Others - including a group of South Koreans who made me pose for the camera and thought I was the coolest person in the world - chatted happily with me and appreciated me.
This is how I want to live life. I don’t want to be the guy who quietly goes by, never offending or pleasing anyone. I want to be the polarizing guy who a handful of people love.
I really love lakes! And skipping stones is the best thought medicine EVER!
Day 14 of #14daystoprofit #showuply challenge. I did it. Yay me! Now I need to figure out how to get more than one customer.
In other news, I saw my first bear yesterday (in the wild).
Yosemite National Park
Day 13 of #14daystoprofit challenge. I just realized that I’ve been off on my count for the past several days, so there is no official day 12 post only because I duplicated a day earlier.
Getting lots of offline work done while in Yosemite. Won’t be able to upload until I get a proper internet connection but that’s cools with me.
Big Sur, California
Day 11 of #14daystoprofit challenge. Already profitable but would love to make one more sale.
Had some sweet marketing ideas on my drive to San Fran yesterday. They involve relaunching and old free accountability tool that I made to use as part of a funnel.
Today I’m automating the vacation day system and the email reminders. So tomorrow checking in will officially be mandatory.
Morning face. Day 10 of #14daystoprofit challenge. Driving up the coast to San Fran with my brother today, then dropping him at the airport and meeting up with my coastal travel buddy.
Yesterday’s big win was adding time zone support and also unread posts.
Today I’ll manage to knock out something in the car but not sure what yet.
Grateful for having the balls (or whatever the PC version is) to get a divorce. Best life decision ever. Wouldn't be doing this project right now had I not had the courage to make that decision. And I certainly wouldn't be traveling like I am. Certainly wouldn’t be working places like this.
Today is day 10 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). I made my first $650 sale on day 6, but imma keep goin’.
Yesterday I got a lot of user setting stuff done, as well as got email notifications set up for when one member @mentions another member.
Today... I'm not exactly sure. I know that I want the official accountability stuff to be finished so that check-ins can start being mandatory as of Monday. But I also really want to re-add the good morning videos that I had to delete yesterday because of the Safari issue. And TBH this text editor could use a few tweaks as well.
Struggling with what to do about the good morning videos. It started out as a requirement that members attach a 1-7 second video to each post they make, simply smiling and saying good morning. I really freaking liked it. There's something special about seeing other people in that way. But I had to remove it yesterday because of an encoding bug. Then I realized that recording video on Safari is straight up not possible, so I'd have to have it be mandatory on chrome, ff, and edge but not on safari, which is weird. But still, I think I'll bring it back.
Today is day 9 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). I made my first $650 sale on day 6, but imma keep goin’.
Ugh. I really freaking hate software sometimes. Been spending the past 45 minutes trying to get my videos to play in Safari. I think I have to add cloudfront on top of s3, but I hate the idea of trying that and it still not working, so we’ll see.
Today is day 9 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). I made my first $650 sale on day 6, but imma keep goin’.
Grateful to live in a period and place where I can have the freedom to do crazy things and to have the luxury of not being accountable to anyone. Obviously I see the downside in that and that's what I'm trying to solve, but it comes from a pretty sweet place of priviledge.
I didn't do exactly what I said I was going to do yesterday. I didn't get email notifications set up for member mentions. But I DID get a whole shit ton of other stuff done that I wasn't planning on, like profiles, editing profiles, single update pages, etc. And a very rudimentary version of replies, which I'll make more streamlined down the road.
This morning I switched the video format from webm to mp4 because I just learned that webm isn't supported on mobile safari. I want to work on email notifications the rest of the day. That includes not only sending emails upon new mentions and reminders to check-in, but it also - in order to not be hated - means building a smart notification preferences system.
Still struggling with what step I should take first to try to get this in front of people.
#design #solopreneur #accountability #accountabilitycoach #solopreneurship #solopreneurlife #entrepreneur #entrepreneurlife #entrepreneurship #webdesign #startup #mvp
It’s all becoming a blur.
Today is day 8 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). I made my first $650 sale on day 6, but imma keep goin’.
I’m not used to working this hard. I did the whole hustle thing about 7 years ago for a different startup, but not since. Working 16 hour days for the past 7 days has been more tiring than I imagined, but I’m still being epicly productive.
That said, it’s all becoming a blur. I woke up this morning not remembering what I did yesterday. Then I looked at my git history and realized that I did a ton. I got the check-in process, including the “good morning” video, completely working, and also added some nice onboarding stuff to make the experience great for first-time users (holds their hand for first time through). And I integrated At.js so members can now @ tag other members and get notifications when other members @ tag them.
The check-in process is broken on mobile and it broke for one of the members, so today’s #1 mission to figure out and fix those two things. If I have extra time I’ll start working on a member settings page where people can upload a profile pic, set their profiles to public or private, and do a few other things.
I did it!!!! Today is day 7 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). But on day 6 (read: yesterday) I made my first sale.
I’m still going to keep showing up for the next 8 days, though. a) because the site isn’t finished, and b) because I like what’s happened so far so I might as well keep at it.
Today is back to the in-app work. I want to perfect the check-in process today so that it’s beautiful and fun to complete.
Day 6 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio).
New, pretty version is live. Hope to implement Stripe payments by the end of the day. That’ll give me more than a week to make a sale while simultaneously finishing up the app side of things. (if you sign up before I install Stripe then lucky you)
This is where I start tensing up. Because this is when it’s time to start thinking about selling, and I have zero ideas. Right now I’m leaning toward 1-on-1 outreach, cuz I feel like I’m a pretty personable guy and I realllllly believe in what I’m selling… just gotta figure out how to find people to talk to.
Maybe some podcasts? But I’m a nobody, so noone with an audience would want me on their podcast. Maybe that’s not true, though. Maybe I just have to find podcasters who think this idea is as cool as I do, and then that’ll serve as all the street cred I need.
#solopreneurship #solopreneur #solopreneurlife #sales #marketing #design #webdesign #accountability #mastermind
Same screenshot as two days ago? Yep, except now it’s a functioning #website, not just a #sketchapp #design. Today is day 5 of my #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). And I’m freaking crushing it.
Yesterday I designed the logged-in app pages. Then, since that didn’t take long, I started implementing a bunch of the #html and #css.
Today I’m going to go surfing with my brother. And then I’ll keep coding the design stuff. Hopefully be the end of the day tomorrow all of the Sketch design will be completely coded. And then I’ll have one day from there to tweak things, and then I’ll have a week to sell!
#entrepreneur #solopreneur #solopreneurlife #solopreneurship #ux #ui #failfast #growth
Day 4 of #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days (link in bio). Goal is to get something that I can sell by the end of the 7th day so I have an entire week to try to make a sale.
In theory I want to be a function-first maker. Someone who does the coding first, gets everything working, and THEN tackles the design. But my brain won’t have it. All I can think about is design until that’s done. Probs because I’d rather use a beautiful (where speed and #UX choices also count toward overall beauty) website than one with cool features. I assume that since I’m my own ideal customer that my actual customers think the same thoughts.
Yesterday I got soooooo much #design work done. The home page as well as a few other screens now look beautiful IMO. My opinion will change as I get closer to launch and I’ll start thinking that these pages are ugly pieces of garbage, so I’ll refer back to this to prove to myself that I once thought they were pretty.
Today I’m doing more design work. This time designing the app itself. Pretty stoked. #solopreneur #solopreneurlife #solopreneurship #entrepreneur #failfast #accountability #startup
#designday is my favorite day. Many thanks to a @getcraftwork for the assets. $80 super well spent. #14daystoprofit #showuply #solopreneur
I feel like these bison look. Lazy. Today is day 3 of my #14daystoprofit challenge. I got tons done yesterday, but not what I said I would. I realized I was biting off more than necessary for an #mvp so I decided to scrap everything except the check in feature for initial launch. That’s already done, so I’m going to spend today doing design stuff. I have a strong feeling that at this price point #design and #copywriting are going to be crazy important. #showuply #showup #solopreneur #solopreneurs #solopreneurlife
Day 2 of #14DaysToProfit #showuply challenge, where I attempt to go from an idea to a functioning, profitable website in 14 days. Yesterday I accomplished everything I wanted and a touch more. Today I WANT to design the home page, but I’m going to fight the urge and instead get the app itself to a minimum viable state. To me that means the ability to check in daily, the ability to respond to check ins, the ability to set a mandatory check-in time (alarm clock), and the ability to send email notifications to friends/family with your progress. Everything beyond that is either non-essential or can be done manually for now.
#accountability #creativity #mastermind #productivity #procrastination #solopreneur #solopreneurlife #solopreneurcoach #solopreneurs #solopreneurship #growthhacking #creativpreneur
Prettiest website ever! Day 1 of my #14DaysToProfit challenge. It’s live! More or less. Registration does work but I haven’t added stripe yet, so feel free to create a free account before I get around to fixing that loophole. Link in bio. #showuply #accountability #solopreneur
I have an idea for a web app. I’m going to build and launch that idea from absolute scratch AND get my first paying customer in the next 14 days (for a $650/year service).
I can’t promise that I’m going to be successful, but I can promise that I’ll show up with an update every morning. If I break that promise then @kathleencelmins is going to keep the $650 that I sent her as a carrot.
The App: It’s called #showuply (I bought the domain yesterday). It’s an accountability group for #solopreneurs and it does something pretty close to what I’m doing to myself right now. It forces you to show up or it kicks you out of the paid group (which has other goodies that you won’t want to get taken away).
Why? Because I’ve had this idea for forever but due to some combination of insecurities and distractions I keep not doing anything about it. So I’m building the thing I need the most. And I’m sort of trying to prove the concept by keeping myself accountable on instagram with a penalty.
Day 0 Update: Goal for today is to a) setup #laravel, forge, gmail, @cloudflareofficial, #analytics, @sendgrid, etc, and then put up a live site at showuply.com that explains what the features are and has a sign up form (but no payment stuff yet, and no styling). #businessidea #failfast #accountability #accountabilitypartner #accountabilitycoach #accountabilitygroup #solopreneur #entrepreneur #startup
I am so FREAKING invigorated by the work I’m doing. It’s the first time I’ve felt this way about a project since the site I built 8 years ago and eventually sold.
I feel the same sort of relief that I felt when I got a crush on a woman for the first time after my #divorce. An “oh crap, I honestly didn’t ever think I’d feel this again, and I’m sooooo happy that I do” moment of magic.
This is the 18th prettiest view I’ve seen this week. Difficult moments notwithstanding, I have a pretty freaking amazing life ;) #vanlife #beach #beachbum
This is my anguished thinking face. I’ve now accepted that the idea I’m working on will either make zero money or a lot of money, with little chance of anything in between, and I have to admit that I’m equally uncomfortable with both results. You would think that any aspiring #entrepeneur would crave the money, but it sort of seems unfair. Like who the hell am I to make a bunch of money from a site? Which is dumb cuz I’ve been working toward this for two years with no pay. #solopreneur
Grand Canyon National Park
An unplanned stop! My parents happened to be vacationing at the GC the same day I was planning on going to Zion, so I took a quick detour to the north rim to say hi. Neato timing!
Zion Mountain Ranch
Sometimes I look at my body and think Jesus Christ you look good. Other times I look at the same body and think I need to hit the gym for 6 months just to become reasonably attractive.
Sometimes I think I’m an immensely valuable human that anybody in the world would be lucky to call a friend. Other times I get so insecure that I don’t see what my existing friends see in me.
Sometimes I think my work is going to change lives. Other times I think about pulling the plug and going back to the 9-5 world because nothing I ever make will be worth anything.
It’s crazy how the same brain can have such different thoughts. I wonder if this is unique to my brain or if this is just part of the human condition. #insecurity #impostersyndrome
Mount Carmel, Utah
A few hours ago I was driving and in the stillness my mind couldn’t stop thinking about all of the ways I’m failing in life, to the point that I spent the final part of the drive seriously contemplating whether I suffer from depression (a thought I’ll revisit soon). And then I found this free BLM campsite. When I pulled up all I could think was OMFG! Absolutely breathtaking. Oh how quickly the spirit can be lifted!
Tonight has been one of the most naturally beautiful nights of my life. The camping spot 15ft from a cliff, the sunset, the stargazing. It took me from depressed, lost, and feeling like there’s no point to entirely happy and in the moment.
The only thing that could have made tonight better is someone special to share the moment with. Whenever I see something SO beautiful it’s my natural reaction to turn to my (now ex) wife and smile and say “I love you”. Oh well. I’ll keep being me and that we will come again when the time is right.
I’m sillily prancing (running but with pizzazz) up and down the steep trails of Bryce Canyon, shirtless, in my silly sandals, with my silly bouncing afro, sporting my silliest of smiles. This silliness makes me feel a little special and tears down my fear of what others think of me, which gives me the confidence to be outgoing. I smile and say good morning to every person i pass, and they smile - or more commonly giggle - and return my greeting, which only makes me smile harder and greet the next person that much more warmly.
This is who I am on the inside all the time. But my self consciousness usually prevents it from being who I am on the outside. Usually I won’t say hi on a trail unless someone else says hi first. I want to interact, but there are too many insecurities in my head to go for it.
This is why I travel, why I do extreme things, why it sometimes seems like I’m trying a little hard be unique. The sheer amount of energy I get from these “whoah” moments of experiencing amazing new things is enough to make my silliness fight through everything and shine brightly.
Everyone I greeted happily greeted me back. Everyone. Even the ones who looked cold and standoffish and like they didn’t want to interact. So maybe everyone feels like I do inside most of the time, and seeing someone else go first is all the permission they need to smile and let go of the serious face for a few seconds.
Perspective is a funny thing. I’m now “reduced” to brushing my teeth in grocery store bathrooms. 10 years ago I would have looked down on someone in my current situation. And yet here I am, far happier than that 10-year-ago version of myself.
Capitol Reef National Park
Day 5 of living in my car. Did 70 miles of off-roading, got embarrassingly scared at one point cuz I was lost in the desert and was concerned about getting out. But did lots and lots of fishtails so it was a good day!
Naturally I started writing these things after Asia and Europe. Oh well. Just pretend I’m cool.